I’m tired…I think I can actually hear my bed calling me at this point. I’ve been up all night again as a result of what is quickly becoming a ridiculous quest. Simply put, I want to run OSX on my workstation. It should be easy. I mean, after all, every one of the install guides posted on the Insanely Mac forum has a section for the “noob”, the “simpleton”, or the “beginner”. Most of which, ironically, are either difficult to understand or omit important steps.
But the rage here is cryptic as always, so I’m going to be bitching about something else that I’ve encountered as an direct result of my little quest, the Parallels 4 upgrade “process”.
This is a rough timeline of the latter portion of my evening:
11:00PM : My wife (as lovely as she is patient with my vampire hours) is soundly asleep on the couch. I suddenly remember I need to get a bit of work done before I go to bed as I’m taking tomorrow off. I have to do this remotely. Time for some VPN action.
11:30PM : I realize that I can’t boot into Vista on my workstation anymore because of my weekend exploits trying to get OSX up and running. Should be a quick fix…
12:00AM : After several attempts to restore the MBR on my hard drive with the Vista install disc and GParted, I punt and decide to resize/move my Vista partition back to the way it was configured before I started messing with OSX. I’ve had to do this before with another drive, it will take an hour at least…
1:30AM : After the resize is complete, I go a couple more rounds with the Vista restore disc and GParted until I finally give up. My partition is fine, the data is safe and sound, it just…will…not…boot…
2:00AM : I fire up my Macbook and in desperation I try to load an old XP virtual machine with Parallels. I haven’t used it in months. I forget, of course, that I’ve upgraded Parallels since then and thus need to upgrade the VM. Ok…that shouldn’t take long…
2:15AM : Parallels boots up with a slick new interface and asks me to start the upgrade process. It also informs me this process is broken down into four steps. I’ll be referring to these steps by their biblical names.
2:20AM : Step 1…Pestilence. This is the plague step. It starts off with a harmless cough like symptom. You know, that crunching sound your hard drive makes at vital moments when you REALLY need to get some work done. I’m just hoping it will go away soon…
2:40AM : Step 2…Famine. I have no resources available now. My computer has been completely infested by this “installer”. I can barely muster up the RAM to run Firefox and start recording this tale…before it’s too late. Out of the corner of my eye a message appears from the beast…taunting me. “Please wait” it says, “This operation may take some time to complete.”
Some time indeed…
4:45 AM : Step 3…War. This step has been running for the better part of two hours now. Apparently “upgrading virtual hardware” is a pretty painful task. What’s amazing, however, is the complete lack of information the beast manages to shell out at this juncture. I watch the same advertisements for new “features’ go by over and over again while the progress bar stays completely still. Well, not completely still. This is OSX after all, so it’s animated…which means it gives off the illusion of progress while not moving at all. Somewhere from inside the machine, a childs voice cries out in pain.
5:00 AM : I am now wondering whether or not this process will complete in the next 30 mins, at which point I will drive into work…to finish what I never got started…
6:06 AM : I’m at work now. Just wrapped up what I needed to get done. I’m almost certain we’ll still be on Step 3 when I get back home. I’m gonna go ahead and post this now. I’ll be sure to update it later on in the day. Step 4 still awaits…
1:20 PM : Step 4…Death. I mean this literally. I had to KILL the update process because it was still going when I woke up.
What’s the moral of the story kids? Don’t mess with a functioning system too much, particularly when that system is the only one in the house capable of getting any work done.


